Why 1:1s Matter (and How to Do Them!)

As an engineering manager, your job is to 1) deliver the results expected by your organization, and 2) retain your people. 

But when it comes to figuring out how to actually do that, things can get a little murky. "What does it mean to manage well? What can I specifically do to improve my team's performance and satisfaction?" The answer lies in 1:1 (one-on-one) meetings. 1:1s are where effective management happens.

In this post, we will break down why 1:1s matter and how to do them effectively. 

Why 1:1s matter

The single most impactful thing you can do to improve performance and retention is to get to know the individual strengths, weaknesses, and needs of your direct reports. The way you do this is through routine 1:1s with your team.

Routine 1:1s create a natural channel for your developers to talk about the things that are important to them outside of the day-to-day demands. While you may talk to your team frequently, impromptu conversations are often about your agenda, not about theirs.  

So, it’s important to specifically carve out time for them to talk about what’s on their mind. The more you talk to them, the stronger your relationship will be. The stronger your relationship is, the more they will trust you and the better you will be at getting the best from them. 

So how do you go about holding effective 1:1 meetings?

Here are a few tips, inspired by The Effective Manager.

An effective 1:1 meeting has the following attributes:

• Scheduled (as opposed to ad-hoc)
• Weekly (bi-weekly at least)
• 30 minutes long
• Focused on the direct's issues - not the manager's
• Manager takes notes
• Manager follows up

Let's break each of these down a bit further.

Scheduling your 1:1s: why is this important? For the simple reason that unscheduled 1:1s are far less likely to happen than routinely scheduled 1:1s, as everyone is busy! It’s ok if you have to reschedule and move times around. The important thing is having a routine 1:1 with each of your directs on the calendar. 

Weekly cadence: I know some of you may be thinking “This guy is crazy. I don’t have time for that!” But hear me out. If you’re going to create trusting relationships with your direct reports, you have to talk to them frequently about the things that are important to them. While there is an upfront time-cost, it actually saves a significant amount of time in having a more productive team who has all of the blockers removed. As leaders and managers, it is easy to say, “My people should tell me if they need my help with something!” And that is true. However, we sometimes forget the relational dynamics that exist between a boss & employee (no matter how close) and may even be blind to behaviors we have that make it challenging to bring up big topics to us. That’s why carving out time for your direct reports to talk to you frequently is critical. 

A bi-weekly 1:1 cadence isn’t bad, but there’s some risk here. If you miss one, you’re now having a monthly 1:1. In complex, fast-moving engineering orgs and a competitive labor market, a LOT can change in a month. You don’t want any potential issues to fester for that long. 

Caveat: if you have 10+ direct reports, it’s ok to start bi-weekly. But the goal should likely be to get to a place where you have a manageable number of direct reports that you can have a 1:1 with weekly. 

30 minutes long: You don’t want your 1:1s to feel like a chore. It should be punchy, high-impact, and consistently met. If you schedule 1:1s for over 30 minutes, conversations can drag out longer than necessary, and the risk of rescheduling/cancellation significantly increases. 

Focus on the direct’s issues: Within the 30 minute 1:1, you might consider the following framework: 10 minutes for them, 10 minutes for you, 10 minutes to talk about the future. The key is letting your directs go first. Let them talk about whatever they want to talk about. There is no agenda. If your directs go longer than 10 minutes, let them talk - even if it takes the full time, at first. You can always go back to them on specific topics, but they need a channel to talk to you. If they continually talk for 20+ minutes, after a month or two, you may set some boundaries so you have time to address what’s important to you as well. 

“What do we talk about? Are 1:1s supposed to be work-related or personal?” The answer is “Yes.” It’s a channel for them to talk about whatever is most important to them – whether that’s a personal life crisis or a project they need your help on. This type of listening and unblocking is what allows them to reach maximum performance. 

Manager takes notes: there are a lot of different approaches to 1:1s. For engineering managers, many of your 1:1s may be virtual, in which case it’s easy to take notes on the computer while chatting. In person, it can be more challenging to take notes while talking with someone, as you want to give them your undivided attention. But there are still very good reasons to take notes during your conversation: 

1. It shows that you care and elevates the conversation. When someone is taking notes while I’m talking to them, it makes me feel like they’re digesting what I’m saying and are actually going to take action on anything that is needed.

2. It improves the likelihood that you will follow through on whatever is needed! With so many things going on in the workday (and even in one conversation), it can be easy to forget what someone said. But the insights your directs give you during 1:1s are like golden nuggets for managers. Writing them down ensures that you internalize them and can act on them. 

Manager follows up: the last piece of the equation is arguably the most important. Managers must follow up on action items identified in the 1:1. There is nothing more deflating for an employee to spend half an hour telling you what’s important to them, only to have you forget by the next meeting or not follow through. To drive high performance in your team, you must hold yourself accountable to any action items on your plate and follow-up with your direct on any action items they've committed to. This ensures that you’re both continually moving towards the goal, together. 

 So that’s how to implement 1:1s across your team! If you want to start applying any of these, be sure to introduce the concept to your team first and explain why you’re doing it. A group email or comment in a team stand-up should suffice. 

We are confident if you follow these steps and create a consistent habit of 1:1s with your direct reports, you will have higher performance and satisfaction than ever before! 

- DevClarity Team 

P.S. Please reach out with any questions or comments! We would love to help your teams however we can.